In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
