we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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