Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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