and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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