Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
barbara walters just said penis...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
