My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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