I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
