who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize