There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
