we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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