you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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