bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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