this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
