I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i would punch a child for taco bell
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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