i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
