She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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