I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize