it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
