I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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