can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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