it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
