I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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