Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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