She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
