I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
