i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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