I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
