they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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