well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
