so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
