just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
