i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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