love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
