I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
