She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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