The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
