My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
