just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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