Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
