NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I AM VODKA MAN
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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