he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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