HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
