My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
