Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
