yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize