did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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