i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
