umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
