Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
