I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
this will be a night to untag.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.