I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.