maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.