Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.