I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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