i think my tv is drunk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
