I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
