The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
