Barsexuality is the new black.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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