you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
