He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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