You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
