I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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