saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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