Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
