Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
