That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
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