we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
